shrink

is it so bad seeing one. i really can’t take it anymore. i wish there was one in malaysia where i can actually just admit myself. (a nice one of course but i don’t think there is one) i think am going to have a breakdown. i just know its coming. and am scared. am scared of myself.

do i sound crazy to you?

maybe i just am. *sigh*

hey seeing a shrink doesn’t mean am crazy ok? maybe i just need some help. one thing that disappoints me is most Malaysians are not accepting the idea of seeing a shrink. as soon as you say you are seeing one. they’ll say “ die tue gila jumpa pakar sakit jiwa” “die tue ada mental problem” and it goes on and on and on.

i really need one. i do. i know i do. to my dearest friends please do not judge me.

day by day

things get worst

i try to fix it

but nothing happens

am tired

tired of it all

especially the acts that we are happy

the distance is hurting me

it gets worst

on every gathering

my heart has broken into pieces

nothing can fix it anymore

away

 

am away. away from the big city. away from everything. to clear up my mind. to let everything go. hoping  it would be easier as am far away. need to find the strength. and get back on my feet. and prepare myself for the packed schedule that’s coming up.

tea with z

 

telling z that am done. am tired of it all. let bygones be bygones. another chapter of my life is close. can’t wait for the stories yet to come.

 

moving forward. see. am happy. now it’s my turn z. yes i know it’s mine! dun worry am a good listener. am happy for you lil’ girl.

finito’

unanswered questions. wonders. waiting. yes no yes no. am done. truly done!

bukit bintang

 

two weekends ago. my friends and i walked along jalan bukit bintang.we’ve been staying in KL for such a long time yet we’ve never really walked on that street. suddenly i felt lost and it felt like a different world.there were a few groups of people who dresses up as if they were going to a costume party. i wanted to take pictures of them, but i was too scared.then there were people selling watches along the street. and they were also selling phones!!  just in a sling bag. there was even that raoul phone. shocking!! 

some promotion going on

pavilion from across the street

peace

cam whoring session

waiting to cross the road

heading back to pavilion

excitement

is in me today.cant wait for it. hopefully everything will go according to plan. oh i just can't wait!

falling into places

is life like that? one day you're a mess.the next.everything just fall into place. am excited..confused..doubting.. all at the same time. making decisions is far from my expertise. am a person who is scared of the unknown. taking risks is never a choice in my dictionary. i love my comfort zone. tho' it's not exciting. i love it! there's an opportunity that awaits for me. but i don't know what to do. i really don't. yes. no. yes. no. ? and the amount of 'what if'ssss in my head. seriously. not helping. urghhh.

sometimes

i wish you were still here

still here

to hug you

to kiss you

to wake up and say good morning

to wake up and have breakfast on the table

to run to you when am scared

to cry in your arms when my heart is broken

to tell you my stories

i miss all the stories that you tell me

i miss your laugh

i miss your smile

i miss your touch

i miss you

i miss you so much

things are getting out of control

i need you

mama

i wanna be with you

may i follow you?

love birds

this beautiful poem is dedicated to all of you

love

is always patient and kind

it is never jealous

love

is never boastful or conceited

it is never rude or selfish

it does not take offence

and it is not resentful

love

takes no pleasure in other people's sin

but

delights in the truth

it is always ready

to excuse..to trust..to hope..

and to endure whatever happens

-shakespeare-

les miserables

i've been wanting to read this book since 2 years ago. but i can't seem to find it. anyone knows where can i get this book? if you do please let me know. or if u ever come across it. please please let me know.

hey mr!!

you can't just call me all of a sudden.ask me how i am. ask me whether am happy or not. with your voice not sounding so good. you just spoiled my freaking day. and yes. yes. i miss you. but please don't do this again. it hurts. it hurts too much. now am worried about you. and i don't like it. are you okay? *sigh* i really hope everything is good.

my dearest girl

i don't know what to say to you. but i feel your pain.just be strong.i can tell you not think about it.but.i know thats not possible.(we are girls.mind us for thinking too much) yeah stay strong and be patient.take it as an experience.a chapter of your life.and do remember that there are more chapters to be written.:) i've written this before.and i'll write it again. life is too short to be miserable and let the bitter ones to change how awesome you are. i hope you'll feel better soon.and am always there for you.

eid-fitri

this year.it was as i expected.maybe even worst.every year i hope that things would get better.but it doesn't.i guess some things are just meant to be.eid is not exciting anymore.maybe it's the age.maybe it's the environment.maybe i have forgotten the value of eid and what its all about.doesn't really matter anymore.

oh how i wish i was still that little girl.who can't wait to shop for our traditional baju kurung.new shoes.gathering with her cousins.helping out to cook all those ketupat and rendang.oh how time flies so fast.when i look back.it feels like a century ago.

anyways.i know it's kindda late but happy eid-fitri and maaf zahir batin to all of you people. and as to all my friends. thank-you for being with me.thank-you for colouring my life. thank-you for putting a smile on my face. :)

the girl i use to know

happy and bubbly

was her well known character

caring and loving

was just her

patience

is what she holds on too

smilling

was her best medicine in life

she got lost

lost along the way

no hope.no love.no faith

i hope and pray that you'll find your way back. life is too short to be miserable and let the bitter ones to change who you are.

me and dates

i think i have problems of remembering dates. or just simply got it wrong in the first place. as i had a very bad headache yesterday.i decided to take some aspirin and sleep thru out the night. as i woke up this morning. i was so happily thinking oh am gonna get to watch the movie that i've been waiting for.it will be on screen today.finally.*jumping around*

but....

NO! it's not today! it's on the 29th of OCTOBER!!! now am so devastated. and i dont know what to do. i think am gonna read the book again. or maybe start reading by the river piedra i sat down and wept.

another month. am gonna go crazy. ok exageration. but i really wanna watch it...*whining*

so freakin hurts

yes.my head.am having the most teribble headache right now.and it hurts.it hurts badly.big time!am so damn restless.but i can't sleep.why oh why?am having this terrible headache.

t.r.a.n.q.u.i.l.i.t.y

a year ago

my dark angel brought me there

he brought me there coz i was in a very bad mood

i don't feel so good now

i wanna be there

to heal

beaches always makes me calm

everything will be clear

t.r.a.n.q.u.i.l.i.t.y

is the word whenever am there.

dearest dark angel,

how i wish you could take me there

& F.Y.I i miss you.

off my laziness

i don't feel like doing anything these days tho there are tons of things to do.my mind is all over the place.i hate using my brains.i want to be as ignorant as possible.i want to sleep all day long.so i wont have to think off all the things that are in my mind.and do the things that am suppose to do.

i wish i could hit the beach right now.i wanna be on the sand.on a sunny day.under a shady tree.reading my book.with a glass of chilled ice lemon tea by my side.oh! and the sound of the waves.doesn't it sound nice? i wish there was a nice beach in KL that i can go to whenever i feel like it.*sigh*

alrighty.i need to do the things i need to do.toodles.

eid in KL???

hey people.guess what.i was totally confident that eid would be on the 22 nd of september.but no.it's not on the 22nd it's on the 20th!! actually i don't really care when the hell is it coz i don't plan to go back for eid this year. but one boring night i chatted with a friend of mine and he gave me links of raya adds from the past years.

and...

tears started coming out from my eyes. then. it got me thinking. regardless of whatsoever is the issue ur having.u need to be with ur family on eid. i don't want to miss the morning moments of eid with my father.so i have decided to take the high road and i do want to go back for eid.

but there's a problem..

my final paper is on the 19th and eid is on the 20th.and not only that my paper finishes at 4pm.so there's noway am gonna be there for the last day of breaking fast.and am sure the highway will be flooded with cars and i so hate being stuck on it.therefore i will be going back to johor around 3-4 in the morning with my stupid infected eyes. or maybe i should go a bit earlier as my eyes gets really blurry sometimes.

or

maybe just not go back at all. i didn't want to go back anyways. my wish was granted. only that it's not my wish anymore. i really wanna go back. i miss my father. *sigh*

stupid red eyes

i hate my eyes right now. i got some stupid eye infection. thank-you so so so much mr.mickey. i got it from you! it's so freaking itchy and watery! and so annoying!! :(

prince of the knight

when i was a little girl a little bird told me that there are two types of man the prince charming and the knight in shining armor.when i was young i dreamt that my prince charming will find me in a beautiful garden that is colourful with all different type of flowers. as i grew older i dreamt being saved by the knight in shining armor after being locked up in a dungeon.

what type would be your choice? the prince charming or the knight in shining armor. as for me i do want to be charmed by my prince charming where i am the utter centre of attention. but i still want to be rescued by my knight in shining armor where he will save me from all my troubles. so which am i to choose ? the prince charming or the knight in shining armor?

who says i can't have both right? well i think my choice would be prince of the knight. he has a lil bit of both. why must we make a decision to choose between the two when we can have a lil bit of both. i know he's out there.i think i found him.my prince of the knight.

off pushing daisies

meet the characters of a tv show called pushing daisies that stole my heart. meet the private investigator mr.emerson cod, the pie maker ned, the girl who live from the dead chuck, her aunts aunt vivian and aunt lily and the blondie of the show ms.olive (from left.)

this show is such a delight compared to other shows. it is a glorious fairy tale with saturated colours and such a fine story line. with a touch of magic they wake up the dead to solve murder casses. and ofcourse the love off the pie maker and the girl who's dead. and the blondie who loves the pie maker who's heart is not for her.

oh! am in love with this show. thanx haiqal for introducing me to this show. but am heart broken as this show is cancelled. am tired of the same show over and over again.most shows now are basically the same concept with different dramas. it's not that i hate em just tired of it and pop comes this whimsical story and they cancelling it of.ugh!!

09.09.09

...and then there were two...at the end of the day it would always be me and you...i had fun with ur stupid jokes on the way up there...the silence up there was such a waste...i guess both of us were busy with our own emotions...the talk on the way back was nice...i love you lil girl...

runaway

i want to runaway
runaway
to be alone
i hate this time around of the year
someone take me away
take me away
so that i won't have to go through it all
obstacles, pressure and the unknown

oh si kelabu

saya amat mengasihani awak.dengan mata kasar ye memang awak menang.tapi pada hakikatnya saya tahu.awak tahu.dia tahu.bahawa awak tidak dapat menawani hati dia.makanya.sebenar-benarnya saya telah menang.saya sangat kasihani awak.but then again love is not a game nor is relationship.thus, i guess what's meant to be is meant to be. and am happy with my life now. the one with the insecurities is you.so you can tell the whole world that u have won.but you know what's the turth of the invisibility. :)

hating to drive

i officially hate driving.do you know how much fun it is just to sit there on the passenger sit and let someone else do the work.i've been driving for such a long time that i forgot till yesterday.i felt so relaxed.somemore am not that well now.it's nice having someone else driving.i seriously hate driving.anyone care to drive me anywhere i wanna go? *ahakz* thanx z and azri for driving.

"little prince"~brooke shields

eyes are blind

you have to look with the heart

what's most important is

the invisible

michael jackson

flu.flu.flu

i am not that well and i really hate it.i was so excited to go for class yesterday.and bam! on monday night i started having a flu.it all begin with a very sore throat that evening.after sending z to work i went to the clinic as i can't hardly open my eyes edy.i had to wait for the dr like an hour plus.god knows how much i was swearing.my body was aching like madness.hany a.puzi.i straight a way jumped up and went into the room. the dr check my temp. and it was 38.7.no wonder i felt so crappy and restless most of the time. then he also said that my tonsil are red.and my throat has swollen.

i haven't felt this sick for such a long time.owh how i wish my mother was still here.am sure she'll make it better in a jiffy.or maybe miss.m.i love it when she take cares of me when am sick.as of yesterday no one really took care of me.i hate the fact that i have to take care of myself.i miss being taken care off. well things changes i guess and am still learning.dear god! i really hate changes.i love my comfort zone. but changes is one fact of life that we can never run from. am sure you've heard before change is the only constant.

first kiss

i miss him.i miss him a lot.i miss my ex.we were together for four years oso.i don't know why but am missing him.we were always so happy.happy of doing nothing.on weekdays we would go to the library after school.and as for weekends our choice would always be the beach.oh!how i miss the beach there.it is just so beautiful.

my first kiss was perfect.at the beach.sitting on the soft sand.with the winds.sitting between his lap.both of us facing the sea.he suddenly whisper to me.i love you.love you as big as the sea.it will never end.i turn my face towards his and there our lips met.there's no other words that can describe that moment other than PERFECT.

i really loved him.he was always so sweet.i still remember when i was sick and he brought me porridge and hot milo that he made himself for the whole week.i always love all the small things that he did for me.i love all the presents too.i just love all the small,patty things more.you know what they say it's not hard to make a girl happy.

now am scared.scared that i wont feel the way i felt when i was with him ever.loving and being loved is such a great feeling that a person can ever have.

tic---toc---tic---toc

time passes by so slow for me nowadays.everything is slow.i don't really know where my head is.i don't even know what am feeling.i really don't.the weird feeling that scares me is still there.i don't know why.i don't know what it is. (this has nothing gotta to do with guys) i feel like blurting it out but i just can't.coz i don't even know what it is.i really wish that this feeling would go away.so that i can have a peace of mind.

i feel sad tonight.news of death and me is a big NO.it brings me to this dark little place where am alone.and i don't handle it very well.actually not at all.news of death is a norm nowadays.i've been hearing it all around and honestly it scares me.i just hope that when i die i wont die in a freaky way where my body is not attached or my face is distorted.dying in my sleep would be good.and i do wanna look good when i die.:)

the wacko jacko

The legend with his famous glitter glove pose

The legend's popular move

he's gone.he left us all.despite all the rumours and gossips and news bout the king of pop i still love him.i love his music.his music was part of my childhood and will always be in my heart.my favourites would be you are not alone.smooth criminal and ofcourse black or white.my deepest condolonces to his family as well as his fans.he's our wacko jacko.the legend.no one can replace him.may u rest in peace mr.wacko jacko.*heart him*

edie britt

"i died just like i lived as the complete and utter centre of attention"

oh i just so love her.her character.the famous slutty edie britt on wisteria lane.i can't imagine desperate housewives without her.it's not gonna be fun anymore.who's gonna have patty fights with susan?she's a slut!i love that about heart.but i know she has a good heart inside of her.she make people realize how strong they really are through her own harsh ways.no sweet talk.her shoulder is not to cry on.you'll just get a slap right in ur face.i so love her style.she died with style.and i love her last words.

*ahakz*

i love my new template.do u like it?but damn all my widgets are deleted.will update soon.going out now.hope u'll enjoy reading my blog more with the new look.:p

again and again

the same mistake over and over again.how can i be that stupid?i guess i never learned.i am so angry at myself right now for doing the same mistake over and over again.everyone around me had warned me but i never listen.it's the same story again and again with different actors but the same story line.am not gonna blame anyone except for myself.and trust me it is not fate.it was my choice.urghhh!!! i so wanna scream right now!!!!

lately

i have this feeling.a feeling that i've never felt before.it's inndescribable.it scares me.

specially for ms.M n mr.H

thanx ms.melissa and mr hed for bringing us (me n z) out today.actually forced to bring ME out by ME.(heheh) i know we didn't do anything much but i just feel so happy.i felt like a family.somehow the emptiness in me is filled today.im so happy that i feel like crying.i really love u guys so much.thanx ms.melissa for always being there for me.and hed treat her nicely please.she's one in a million.love you both.and seeing both of you makes me believe that true love still exist. :) love you guys.xoxo.

deeper conversation

am so confuse right now.i think am falling for someone.but the thing is he is way older than me.and am not sure if am ready for commitment.i haven't been in a relationship for so long that am not so sure anymore.am scared that i can't commit.there are a lot of things that i have to think about.it's not just about the age gap and commitment.i really don't know what to do.maybe we could just be friends.for the moment.let's get to know each other deeper.maybe we should talk about it too.

and if u dont mind.can u tell me all ur hopes and fears.and everything that you believe in.would you make a difference in the world.i'd love for you to take me in a deeper conversation-deeper conversation by yuna.

i really dont want to be with someone i dont have a future with and i truly love.relationship is not just bout having fun and being together all the time.it takes a lot more than that.and i think i should really think bout it.

what a night

for the past week i have been missing my dearest daddy and mr.bushouk.guess what?tonight i saw both of them.my dad called me around 8 for dinner.after with my daddy my bushouk came and pick me and z up.we went to 7e to get some stuff.then my bushouk had to go home coz he need to do some stuff.sedihnyer saya.*sigh*.i haven't seen him for some time.spend time with me idiot!!

then as me n z entered the gate and she unlocks the grill.jeng..jeng..jeng..the door was locked and z doesn't have the keys and mine's in the house.great!! as u around me know i am very bimboish and sengal according to mr.bushouk.as usual he came to the rescue.unfortunately this time he couldn't help.oh,no!where are we gonna sleep?will we be stranded outside?thank-god my neighbour who i glance and smile once in a while to helped out.

while my neighbours were busy trying to open the door knob.me n mr.bushouk were busy teasing, arguing and hitting each other.i gotta pull his hair.hahah.*momento*:p then suddenly we realised that it was just not the two of us in the world.heheh.mr.bushouk continued helping the guys out.and me?stood there asking tons of questions as a bimbo does.hahah.

am happy tonight.happy that i got to see both people that i miss and truly love.

obsess too!

yes.yes.ms.melissa am obsess with the video too.

to readers out there who are into weddings

u must check this video out

khalil and azua's wedding montage

they are just so beautiful and fun!

bak kata orang dulu-dulu

bak pinang dibelah dua

La' familia

family is a primary social group of an individual.normally consisting of parents or maybe a single parent and their children.in a family there are values such as to care.to love.be loved.to share.to help out each other.do u agree with what u just read?maybe yes for some of you.but for me i disagree 110%.family is just a word and it is meaningless to me.if it is as described as above.

most parents nowadays are to busy working towards success.and on the way to reach the top they forget about something.their children!we,children are mostly taken care of the maids or nanny.and see our parents once in a while.no dinners in one table.no spending time together.no sharing of problems.no hugs and kisses.this is how a family is nowadays.(not all but i think mostly).if u call it that.

i believe that family does not have to be related by blood.it is not a relation just in between parents and children.to me family are people who loves you as you are.accepting your flaws.is there when the world crumble downs.picks you up when you fall.show you the light when the world is dark.share.care.trust.

and i get the values as i have mentioned from some of my friends.thus the definition of family to me differs from what i have read in dictionaries.in hany's pink dictionary friends=family and family=friends.to the some of my friends i love you and appreciate you god knows how much and thank you for everything.

ciggie in her hands

if u see around u.u can see lotsa girl or shall i say women are smoking nowadays.and one of them might be me.and yes i know it's bad for health.yada.yadaa.yadaa.i will never ever say that am addicted.it's a habit.a habit that i can't stop for now.this is not what i wanna talk about.

when u see a women smoking what is your perception of them? when i see a woman smoking i think it's ugly.she may be the prettiest girl on earth but when she lights that ciggie.the pretiness goes down the drain.i think it's damn ugly.and yes sometimes i think they are sl**s.i think they are wild.bad girl.god knows what my uncounsiousness judge them.women and smoking is just a big NO!yes i do realise it.just because i too do it.it doesn't mean that i don't realise it.smoking and women is a big NO!i hate it when i see those judgemental eyes which sometimes i give it to other people as well.i know what goes in the head of some of you when u see a woman with a ciggie in her hand.thus.people!stop giving those judgemental eyes.stop it.it's just another bad habit.

savior

you'll always be.

never once you failed me.

ur like an angel.

dark angel.

but

together.we'll never be.

chubby cheeks

me lurve his chubby cheeks

the little one of ms.ameera n mr.rosly

people...meet

muhammad fariz isqandar

who was born on 14th may 2009 at 10.41am

i can't believe it my bestie's a mum!! am so happy for her!! oh dear god, i want one of my own...

network problem

people just to let u know that there is something wrong with the network in my area due to the heavy rain and strong wind in the area 2 days ago.i can't receive or call as well as texting.so if u can't get thru me by phone please IM me in msn or ym.

i luv this pic of the 3 of us

carl rogers

today my lecturer told us a quote by carl rogers.depression is an upper class disease.u know in the olden days social class was obvious.and i think there is still social class.the caste stuff.even though it's not that obvious anymore.nways,i think the quote in some way is true.but it doesn't apply to everyone.the low class people or average people are to busy to be depress working for a living he says.but to me i respect them as their family bond are usually stronger.maybe they don't have all those luxury stuff and all that but they have each other.sometimes a person with a huge house and has all that doesn't even see other family members though they are staying under one roof.experienced it myself when i was staying at my uncle's.well, i always believe that no matter what problem u have.how big or small it is.it's all about how u take it.how u perceive and handle it.life is too short to be miserable or in other words depress.

okay am going to bed.need to wake up early to study.have a paper tomorrow and it's 40% out of my whole marks.nighty nights.

in the darkness

am scared. this is the part where i hate staying alone.blackouts.i do not have a torch-light.my candles are inside my room.and am too scared to go outside as i have to go down the stairs.thank-god my lappy is charged.at least i wont die of boredom in the dark.s**t my imaginations are going wild.(think positive hany! distract urself from imagining creepy thinga-another part of me talking).so anyways.what shall i write.erm..

well today i went out with my friend.not exactly my friend.she's like a sister too.so she's a friend +sister=enter/endter/frister/terend.ok whatever.am starting to crap.nways, there were so many beautiful dresses,tops,skirts and hot pants.and hot pants.and hot pants.urgh.am so gonna diet.(yeah rite, u say it all the time miss hany bunny).the other part of me talking.

oh.oh.i just got a text from amy.she said that she's in the hospital.she was admitted around 5.she had a very bad contraction.but little mini mr n mrs rosly is not out yet.the thing down there has opened approximately 3cm.so 7cm more to go.wargh.i can't believe it!my bestie is gonna be a mum.n the mini them is gonna be a gemini baby.not so good from my experince.but mostly the elderly geminiians.am sure the young ones are better.sure my bestie is in pain right now.well,enjoy the moment darl.it's an experience that u can't miss. (rugi kalau tak rasa).may u and the baby be in good health.
oh.am so happy.:)...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

her blog

always makes me smile...coz i can just imagine her chaterring about...hehehe...i think it's so cute...it's just her...:) and to you miss.i miss you loads...wait for your dress ya...ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!! heheh...

mothers day

mama,

i miss you so...so...much.thank-u for everything that you've done. am so proud to be ur daughter. it makes me so happy when people say am a lot like you. everyone misses u too. especially papa. his eyes were red looking at ur picture. i wish u were here with me.but am postively sure that you are in a better place. i love you ma. love u more than anything in this universe.

(al-fatihah)

to all mummiess out there happy mothers day especially the newbies.

some people

are just simply UGREATFULL...expect people to help them but they are not into helping people out...always expect people to be nice to them...but they don't act so to other people...trying to hurt other people...by their words...trying to show that they have better life than u...showing that they are in power and above you...judging everyone as if they are perfect...maybe they should get a mirror and look at themselves...to me they are simply sad, depressed and lonely people...i pity u people.

i really thank my parents for the way they have brought me up.

and also to the people that has been in my life.especially in my

childhood years...i am the way i am because of all of you.

my neighbour too!!!

i was opening the gate of my house just now as i just came back from school...my class was cancelled (am so psstt)...there's these stuff call technologies which the school should have used to inform us that the class wud be off for today!!! learn it, damn it!!

anyways..while i was opening the gate and talking to z on the phone...this chinese guy came and start talking in chinese...i put z on hold and ask what did he want and he continued talking to me in chinese and i was like sorry, but am not chinese..then he said "oh, sorry i thought u were..am just informing u that i'll be having my wedding ceremony on thursday and friday...so there'll be tent up to ur house...i hope u don't mind...and ur invited..."

OMG!!! another wedding!!!

weddings and babies

don't they just look happy..:)

then comes the little one..:)

i met up with my childhood bestie 2 days ago who is currently pregnant and due in a week or so...she looks beautiful + gorgeous + glowy...and i am so jealous!!!not just because of the fact that she looks amazing...but her life is almost complete...she's married and having a little baby boy soon...how fast time passes by...i feel like it was just yesterday we were riding our bicycle around our neighbourhood..

another thing is i'm hearing wedding bells everywhere...most of my friends are getting married this year...this year itself there's like 6 weddings that i know off...damn!! i feel like am leaving behind...am so jealous!!! here they are going to get married and have babies soon...i don't even have a candidate...urghhh!!! :(

oh god!! i can't wait to be the princess of the day...and have babies of my own...

(p/s: call me crazy but i was surfing on wedding stuff yesterday...what is wrong with me?!)

sick

ish! it has been almost 2 weeks that i've been sick..and i really hate it...am constantly having headaches and bodyaches as well...i wonder why...but too scared to know the result...just in case i have some serious sickness...due to my genetics am freaked out... so am not going to the doctors...am so scared of em...and i hate check ups...pray that i'll be better...

things i need to do coz am a gurl!

it's fun n enjoyable but it kills too

(to the girls who are obsessed with beauty)

threading

(my eyebrows are everywhere)

waxing

(lazy to shave my legs..it grows faster)

eye treatment

(my dark circles are terrible.can't stand it)

hair cut

(just a trim actually.miss my fringe)

foot scrub

(love having it :p)

manicure & pedicure

(love it too)

massage

(i have body aches)

mandi bunga

(refreshing)

wooopss!!

have not started cleaning yet!!

(worked on it just for a bit)

hahahahaah

whom am i trying to kid?

huhhuhuhu

promise will work on it tomorow

have to!!

dearest papa

i raise a white flag

just send me those weekly basis maid!!

cLeAnIng!!!

working on it now

papa i want a maid!!

not the ones that come on weekly basis

but

full time!!!

hate HAVING to BE independent!!

hahah...n the previous entry was about being thankful n greatful with what i have!!

wake up!!wake up!! miss hany bunny!!

not enough?

a son wanted a set of sausage mcmuffin and pancakes in McD...the father looked at him and said you can only choose one dear...no im ordering for u too dad said the son...no its ok, we order only one set of breakfast ya and then we can share...then the cashier said, that will be RM11...the father took out his wallet and i saw a piece of one red note and some light blue notes...then he took out the light blue notes and count it to 11 and pass it to the cashier...he glanced at his wallet and sigh...the expression on his face hit me of how ungrateful i am!!

money is constantly never enough for me...sometimes i don't even know what i spend on...here while im spending my money on god knows what...there are poople who actually needs to save just to eat a burger in McD...how ungreatful can i be?! and yet im always complaining to my father how money is never enough...pa, i need money...pa, i need money...and sometimes that's the only conversation i have with my dad...pathetic? i know...

so,a note to myself: learn to be greatful and thankful of what i have...and same goes to u who's reading this entry...

s + m x ad

s(ad)=
am so sad now...zazzy's in the hospital...hermm...damn worried bout her...hate to see her like that...:( i wanna go to the hosp right now but am inn college now and the stupid class ends at 6...shitty!!!

m(ad)=
urgh!!! am so damn mad right now with a certain someonee...even tho'am not close to him...he made my friend damn sad...if i ever have the guts...i would absolutely freakingly whack him...ur such an ass****!!! u have no feelings is it?? urghhh!!! am speechless!!!

manners

some people just don't have it!!

an outsider?

herm...am pretty sad now...i was so excited that my dad came back from london after 5 month he was there...usually he would call me up and ask me to pick him up from the airport...but this time he didnt...i was devastated...he called me up yesterday before leaving i guess and said that he bought me the books that i asked for and that's all...

as time passes me and my dad are further and further away...it's not like the old times anymore...i feel like im an outsider...it all changed when my beloved mother past away...i've been feeling this for such a long time...but this time it's a sure thing...

this morning i expected a call from him...but he didn't call me at all...i waited till it was 9.am and gave him a call...he didn't seem happy to get a call from me...i asked him where was he and he said he was at my aunts place then i asked him when is he going back to his place and he said a bit later and that was it...then i just said ok i'll see ya later...am feeling the distance...

what can i do? right? i guess just be patient and be as happy as i can...things has changed so much...what am i to say? well i really hope that things would change coz am sick and tired of staying on my own...i need a family...i want to stay under one roof...but again i have to realise I'M AN OUTSIDER NOW!! what can i do? am on my own now...

well my dearest daddy i hope ur happy with the new family...and no matter what i love u so much...ur the most awesome dad a person can get...love you...mmuuahhkksss...

HEY

its all or nothing at all!!!

what i think...

sometimes i think of u as only a friend.
sometimes i think of u as my lover.
sometimes i think of u as an enemy.
sometimes i cant stand you.
sometimes i'm glad ur by my side.
now ur like a stranger.
i dont know why you changed a whole lot.
ur a complete different person towards me.
i think i get the message ur trying to tell me.

Please forget about me and live on.
Those tears will dry completely as time passes.
It would hurt less if we didn't meet at all.
Maybe just a smile if we pass by each other.
Hope you will bury what you promised me.
I'm trying not to care bout' you.

mersce yg berbunyi seperti machine air tebu

i'am so freaking annoyed right now...am in coffee bean at damas...and right infront of me theres a mersce that sounds exactly like machine air tebu bak kata zazzy...and i agree 110% with her...i have no mood to write edy!!

too adorable to eat

check it out

i'am not a big fan of chocolates, desserts, ice-cream..basically anything that is sweet...but i think i'm begining to be a big fan of cupcakes...the 1st cupcakes that i loved was the one which was done by my friend...it was perfect...and now am being a big fan of shalia's cupcakes...the thing is i don't have the heart to eat it coz it is just too adorable...but it taste damn good too...
so how???

1 shot kills 2 ??? U bloody monsters!!!

OMG!!!! i don't know what's wrong with these stupid Israel'ssssssssssss....

how could a person do that!! i guess they are people with no feelings!!

and only people with no heart would do such thing...

you jewish are just monsters!!!

when i read about it..i was upset..it's just so freakingly cruelity!!!

and am sure you people will pay for what you've done...

another part of me is terrified and scared...i think the world is coming to an end..

click here to know briefly about it.

read this article to know more about other printed shirts that they got...you'll be suprised!!

are u ready for love?

love.

what is love?

people say,

love is blind!

is it?

love is not just somethig that is nice to see.

mushy here and mushy there,

gifts here and gifts there.

if u see love as the perfect rose

beautiful & flawless

ur wrong!

this is what we call an illusion.

love takes more than that,

it's about being there for each other.

when the world crumbles,

when the world is jealous of u & time goes so fast.

let me ask u this.

are ready to love the person that u say u love

when he or she wakes up with saliva ( air liur basi) around her/his mouth?

when he or she is facing the worst breakdown ever?

when he or she is sick for months?

when he or she is doing the stupidest thing in the world?

when he or she is farting?

when or she is eating like a pig?

when he or she is devastated n does not take bath for a few days?

if u answer yes

then u are in love

if u answer no

then u are just living in a fantasy & ur not in love.

if u really love someone,

you will hold his or her hand when hard times occur,

you will make him or smile when she's down,

you will pick him or her up when he or she falls down the drain,

you will bring him or her to the right track when they lost their way,

you will cherish & adore her at any state,

share everythin that you have,

never be selfish,

willing to sacrifice,

this is what u call love.

so,

my question is

are u ready to love and be loved?

or

are u loving the idea of being in love and loved?