working on it nowa son wanted a set of sausage mcmuffin and pancakes in McD...the father looked at him and said you can only choose one dear...no im ordering for u too dad said the son...no its ok, we order only one set of breakfast ya and then we can share...then the cashier said, that will be RM11...the father took out his wallet and i saw a piece of one red note and some light blue notes...then he took out the light blue notes and count it to 11 and pass it to the cashier...he glanced at his wallet and sigh...the expression on his face hit me of how ungrateful i am!!
money is constantly never enough for me...sometimes i don't even know what i spend on...here while im spending my money on god knows what...there are poople who actually needs to save just to eat a burger in McD...how ungreatful can i be?! and yet im always complaining to my father how money is never enough...pa, i need money...pa, i need money...and sometimes that's the only conversation i have with my dad...pathetic? i know...
so,a note to myself: learn to be greatful and thankful of what i have...and same goes to u who's reading this entry...
s(ad)=
am so sad now...zazzy's in the hospital...hermm...damn worried bout her...hate to see her like that...:( i wanna go to the hosp right now but am inn college now and the stupid class ends at 6...shitty!!!
m(ad)=
urgh!!! am so damn mad right now with a certain someonee...even tho'am not close to him...he made my friend damn sad...if i ever have the guts...i would absolutely freakingly whack him...ur such an ass****!!! u have no feelings is it?? urghhh!!! am speechless!!!
herm...am pretty sad now...i was so excited that my dad came back from london after 5 month he was there...usually he would call me up and ask me to pick him up from the airport...but this time he didnt...i was devastated...he called me up yesterday before leaving i guess and said that he bought me the books that i asked for and that's all...
as time passes me and my dad are further and further away...it's not like the old times anymore...i feel like im an outsider...it all changed when my beloved mother past away...i've been feeling this for such a long time...but this time it's a sure thing...
this morning i expected a call from him...but he didn't call me at all...i waited till it was 9.am and gave him a call...he didn't seem happy to get a call from me...i asked him where was he and he said he was at my aunts place then i asked him when is he going back to his place and he said a bit later and that was it...then i just said ok i'll see ya later...am feeling the distance...
what can i do? right? i guess just be patient and be as happy as i can...things has changed so much...what am i to say? well i really hope that things would change coz am sick and tired of staying on my own...i need a family...i want to stay under one roof...but again i have to realise I'M AN OUTSIDER NOW!! what can i do? am on my own now...
well my dearest daddy i hope ur happy with the new family...and no matter what i love u so much...ur the most awesome dad a person can get...love you...mmuuahhkksss...
sometimes i think of u as only a friend.
sometimes i think of u as my lover.
sometimes i think of u as an enemy.
sometimes i cant stand you.
sometimes i'm glad ur by my side.
now ur like a stranger.
i dont know why you changed a whole lot.
ur a complete different person towards me.
i think i get the message ur trying to tell me.
Please forget about me and live on.
Those tears will dry completely as time passes.
It would hurt less if we didn't meet at all.
Maybe just a smile if we pass by each other.
Hope you will bury what you promised me.
I'm trying not to care bout' you.
