shrink

is it so bad seeing one. i really can’t take it anymore. i wish there was one in malaysia where i can actually just admit myself. (a nice one of course but i don’t think there is one) i think am going to have a breakdown. i just know its coming. and am scared. am scared of myself.

do i sound crazy to you?

maybe i just am. *sigh*

hey seeing a shrink doesn’t mean am crazy ok? maybe i just need some help. one thing that disappoints me is most Malaysians are not accepting the idea of seeing a shrink. as soon as you say you are seeing one. they’ll say “ die tue gila jumpa pakar sakit jiwa” “die tue ada mental problem” and it goes on and on and on.

i really need one. i do. i know i do. to my dearest friends please do not judge me.

day by day

things get worst

i try to fix it

but nothing happens

am tired

tired of it all

especially the acts that we are happy

the distance is hurting me

it gets worst

on every gathering

my heart has broken into pieces

nothing can fix it anymore

away

 

am away. away from the big city. away from everything. to clear up my mind. to let everything go. hoping  it would be easier as am far away. need to find the strength. and get back on my feet. and prepare myself for the packed schedule that’s coming up.

tea with z

 

telling z that am done. am tired of it all. let bygones be bygones. another chapter of my life is close. can’t wait for the stories yet to come.

 

moving forward. see. am happy. now it’s my turn z. yes i know it’s mine! dun worry am a good listener. am happy for you lil’ girl.

finito’

unanswered questions. wonders. waiting. yes no yes no. am done. truly done!

bukit bintang

 

two weekends ago. my friends and i walked along jalan bukit bintang.we’ve been staying in KL for such a long time yet we’ve never really walked on that street. suddenly i felt lost and it felt like a different world.there were a few groups of people who dresses up as if they were going to a costume party. i wanted to take pictures of them, but i was too scared.then there were people selling watches along the street. and they were also selling phones!!  just in a sling bag. there was even that raoul phone. shocking!! 

some promotion going on

pavilion from across the street

peace

cam whoring session

waiting to cross the road

heading back to pavilion

excitement

is in me today.cant wait for it. hopefully everything will go according to plan. oh i just can't wait!

falling into places

is life like that? one day you're a mess.the next.everything just fall into place. am excited..confused..doubting.. all at the same time. making decisions is far from my expertise. am a person who is scared of the unknown. taking risks is never a choice in my dictionary. i love my comfort zone. tho' it's not exciting. i love it! there's an opportunity that awaits for me. but i don't know what to do. i really don't. yes. no. yes. no. ? and the amount of 'what if'ssss in my head. seriously. not helping. urghhh.

sometimes

i wish you were still here

still here

to hug you

to kiss you

to wake up and say good morning

to wake up and have breakfast on the table

to run to you when am scared

to cry in your arms when my heart is broken

to tell you my stories

i miss all the stories that you tell me

i miss your laugh

i miss your smile

i miss your touch

i miss you

i miss you so much

things are getting out of control

i need you

mama

i wanna be with you

may i follow you?

love birds

this beautiful poem is dedicated to all of you

love

is always patient and kind

it is never jealous

love

is never boastful or conceited

it is never rude or selfish

it does not take offence

and it is not resentful

love

takes no pleasure in other people's sin

but

delights in the truth

it is always ready

to excuse..to trust..to hope..

and to endure whatever happens

-shakespeare-

les miserables

i've been wanting to read this book since 2 years ago. but i can't seem to find it. anyone knows where can i get this book? if you do please let me know. or if u ever come across it. please please let me know.

hey mr!!

you can't just call me all of a sudden.ask me how i am. ask me whether am happy or not. with your voice not sounding so good. you just spoiled my freaking day. and yes. yes. i miss you. but please don't do this again. it hurts. it hurts too much. now am worried about you. and i don't like it. are you okay? *sigh* i really hope everything is good.