OMG!!!

i fell!! i fell!! i fell in public. in a restaurant. in slow motion!! everyone was looking at me. the worst part is i could see all their faces too. as it was in a very slow motion. babun!! oh the embarrassment. it has been for some time that i did not experience falling in front of a bunch of people. years maybe.

the thing is my little miss.m just asked me yesterday “ kak zie pernah jatuh in public tak”? ( have u ever fallen in public before) i said “ yeah. but it was years ago". and i don’t think am gonna fall anymore” arghhh!! what are the odds huh??

on a calm evening one day

the bride stared out the window in her beautiful wedding dress with her sad eyes thinking i would have to let him go. she belongs to  someone else now. her love for him is for eternity. but she knows that they were not meant to be. he. he belongs to her. she knew from the beginning her lovely bestfriend has kept feelings for him. so then. the bride married the guy whom has love her since forever. the bride prayed that he: her eternal love will soon realise that she: her lovely bestfriend is in love with him.

hApPy 21st Ms.Z

 

 

happy 21st darling. tho’ it was nothing much. hope you enjoyed it.

 

the surprise done by mr.H, Ms.D, Mr.A, and a few other people i guess

 

 

birthday girl and i.

oh dear. we didn’t take any group picture. alaaa…:( neways dear ms.z hope all your wishes will come true and i pray the best for you. lurve.

working

is so damn tiring. and am not even working full-time yet. but i love my job. i get to meet a whole bunch of new people. never thought that i’d be working in this line but i guess sometimes fate just bring you to your path. but one thing i hate most about my my job is that i have to put those stuff you call cosmetics. and tons of them.

and working is a good distraction as well. it distracts me from the never ending family drama. as well as my broken heart. over a stupid crush.  i guess i should learn on where do i stand. and when people say the heart is what matters. it’s just a big fat lie.

that’s all for now. toodles. :)

2009

i know it’s late to talk of 2009 but i still want too. :) it was a great start in the beginning but towards the end it was just so darn harsh to me. the end of 2009 hit me deep and it changed my life. it changes everything.

at first. i thought it was really bad and it took me into a really dark place. only god knows what’s in my head at that time.

but hey. i got up thinking. it’s not so bad after all. since it was going to be a new year ( this was in dec) might as well start off all new. so. i guess am okay.

baby steps. still trying to adapt with the new environment and the whole new lifestyle.

most importantly my new place still has lots of greeneries.

shrink

is it so bad seeing one. i really can’t take it anymore. i wish there was one in malaysia where i can actually just admit myself. (a nice one of course but i don’t think there is one) i think am going to have a breakdown. i just know its coming. and am scared. am scared of myself.

do i sound crazy to you?

maybe i just am. *sigh*

hey seeing a shrink doesn’t mean am crazy ok? maybe i just need some help. one thing that disappoints me is most Malaysians are not accepting the idea of seeing a shrink. as soon as you say you are seeing one. they’ll say “ die tue gila jumpa pakar sakit jiwa” “die tue ada mental problem” and it goes on and on and on.

i really need one. i do. i know i do. to my dearest friends please do not judge me.

day by day

things get worst

i try to fix it

but nothing happens

am tired

tired of it all

especially the acts that we are happy

the distance is hurting me

it gets worst

on every gathering

my heart has broken into pieces

nothing can fix it anymore

away

 

am away. away from the big city. away from everything. to clear up my mind. to let everything go. hoping  it would be easier as am far away. need to find the strength. and get back on my feet. and prepare myself for the packed schedule that’s coming up.

tea with z

 

telling z that am done. am tired of it all. let bygones be bygones. another chapter of my life is close. can’t wait for the stories yet to come.

 

moving forward. see. am happy. now it’s my turn z. yes i know it’s mine! dun worry am a good listener. am happy for you lil’ girl.

finito’

unanswered questions. wonders. waiting. yes no yes no. am done. truly done!

bukit bintang

 

two weekends ago. my friends and i walked along jalan bukit bintang.we’ve been staying in KL for such a long time yet we’ve never really walked on that street. suddenly i felt lost and it felt like a different world.there were a few groups of people who dresses up as if they were going to a costume party. i wanted to take pictures of them, but i was too scared.then there were people selling watches along the street. and they were also selling phones!!  just in a sling bag. there was even that raoul phone. shocking!! 

some promotion going on

pavilion from across the street

peace

cam whoring session

waiting to cross the road

heading back to pavilion

excitement

is in me today.cant wait for it. hopefully everything will go according to plan. oh i just can't wait!